We spoke with Ruth Silver who teaches the third-graders at Living Wisdom School of Palo Alto.
Q: When you were young, did you know that you would be a teacher?
Ruth: I think I did. When I was in elementary school, I would stay after school and help the teacher erase the blackboard and get the classroom in order. I would often play teacher with my friends, and I loved it.
After college, I worked in France for a year, teaching in a public junior high, then I worked in Israel for a couple of years, and when I came back I taught for several years at schools in Foster City and Palo Alto.
I loved teaching, but then I got married and gave up teaching to raise my kids. When my kids were grown, I thought about exploring a new field. I remarked to a friend, “I wish there were something I loved, and that I was really good at.” He said, “There is. It’s teaching.”
I thought, “It’s true, I love teaching.” I found a job at a school in San Jose where it was wonderful to work with the children, but the school was poorly run and it closed mid-year, so the kids were left without a school, and the teachers suddenly found themselves without jobs.
I had a friend who taught at Living Wisdom School. She said, “Send me your resume, and I’ll show it to Helen,” our former school director. Two weeks later, a position opened in second and third grade, and I was hired. It was a miracle that I landed in this glorious place, after the scary experience of losing my job. It touches me still when I think about it.
I love this school. It’s a very joyful place. I wish my children had come here, and that I had been able to come to a place like this as a child.
I’ll wander into Erica’s second-grade classroom, and I’ll look around and think, “Oh, my gosh!” And Erica will visit my classroom and say, “Oh, my gosh!”
There’s a unique camaraderie and joy with the other teachers. If we have a question, like “How can I set up this lesson so that it will help the students in the best way?” I can go to any of the teachers and we’ll work on it with our combined experience, and find the solution.
Many amazing things have come out of those conversations. It’s a wonderful aspect of our school that the teachers are free to learn from each other, and that we can go into the other classrooms and observe.
For the students, there’s an incredible amount of learning that goes on, with amazing creativity and joy. I love coming to work every day, and I don’t think many people can say that. (laughs)
Q: One of the things I’ve been struck by is how you interact with the children. On one occasion, the seamstress for the annual play was being kind of tough and bossy, and a little girl in your class was afraid to go to her and have her costume adjusted. You were counseling her, and you were very attuned to her need and able to help her with compassion and wisdom. I thought it exemplified something I often hear the teachers say here, that it’s essential to create a relationship with each child, so that you can understand who they are and what their unique needs are.
Ruth: Yes, this is absolutely true. It’s one of the things I love, the familiarity you develop with each child. It’s a relationship of respect and trust. We know each other, and if something’s going on, I’ll know about it so I can help them.
I’ll say, “I’m noticing that your energy’s a little off today. Tell me what’s happening.” Because we know them well enough to recognize when something’s off their norm.
We’ll talk about it, instead of ignoring it and assuming it will just go away, or that their parents will deal with it, or much worse, that we might try to discipline them for their “off” behavior without understanding what’s really going on.
I said to the kids yesterday, “Some of you haven’t made art for our class poetry book. Come on, let’s get this done!” And one of the little eight-year-old girls said, “You’re really frantic today!” (laughs)
I took a deep breath, and I said, “Yes, I am. I’m feeling frantic.” Then the little girl said, with great confidence, “Well, don’t worry, we’ll get it done!” I said, “You’re right, I was feeling frenetic.” And it was funny, because they jumped in right away and said, “We know that word!”
But she said it so kindly – it wasn’t that she was scolding me, “What’s wrong with you?!” She noticed that I was feeling frantic, and she was free in this environment to try to help. It’s a natural part of the culture, to talk about issues that are getting in the way, and it has a very positive effect on their development and learning.
Q: In a traditional school where the children are focused almost exclusively on academics, they can sometimes get so much in their heads that they miss the experience of having their hearts educated, which Education for Life says is important at any age, but especially from age six to twelve. Is that something you emphasize? If you’re doing academics, do you find that “feeling-based media” like art and stories, and attitudes of kindness and cooperation are helping the children in their studies?
Ruth: Without question! I feel that where there’s laughter and joy, there are much greater possibilities for learning. If you walk into any classroom here, you’ll see that they’re working very hard, but the reason there’s so much learning, and the kids are so engaged, is because they feel it’s theirs.
We’re continually adjusting the curriculum to meet each child’s individual needs, so that the learning is always on their level. And because it’s so individually focused, we’re able to raise the bar in a way that lets each child experience the satisfaction of rising to their own challenges. As they discover that they can face a challenge and overcome it, their enthusiasm for learning grows tremendously, and it’s a huge step for their all-around development.
Soon after I came here, a little boy stood up at the year-end ceremony and said, “At first it was hard, but now I know that I can always ask for help, and if I need to know how to spell ‘ampersand,’ I can ask.”
They aren’t afraid to ask, because the culture isn’t about who’s best, or who’s ahead. “What page are you on? I’m ten pages farther.” That never gets talked about, because they know that it simply doesn’t matter.
In math, the children are free to ask each other for help, even before they ask me. They’re constantly teaching each other, and they’re learning to solve problems by finding the resources they need.
A child will say, “Can somebody help me?” And you’ll always hear, “I will! I will!” They’re competing to go and help each other, and they discover that teaching is a wonderful way to review what they’ve learned. Imagine how great a child must feel when they can help another child with a math problem.
We’re doing Menu Math, which is very challenging for them. One of the problems is, “How much is the restaurant bill with an 18 percent tip?” It’s quite advanced for third-graders. Recently, we were getting close to the end of math class, and I hadn’t covered the problem, so I said, “Let’s come back to it tomorrow – we don’t have to cover it today.” But one of the girls said, “I know how to do it! My mom showed me.” And she got up and taught the whole class how to calculate an 18-percent tip. It was marvelous, because the kids were going, “Oh, yeah, I get it!”
They said, “Ruth, can we go to the board and try to figure it out by ourselves?” And I just had to laugh. I said, “Well – yeah!!” Because I was delighted.
The learning is natural and joyful, and we always monitor their comfort level. I tell them, “Let me know if it’s too easy, because it’ll be boring, or if it’s too hard, because it’ll be frustrating.” The kids will say, “Ruth, this is a really good comfort level for me.” Or, “It’s really challenging, but I can do it.”
I had a child in my class who used to say, “This is hard!” Now he’s saying, “This is challenging.” Because he’s learned to work through the challenges and master them. I’ll say, “Is it a good comfort level for you?” and he’ll say, “Yeah, but it’s pretty challenging.”
Or they’ll say, “Ruth, this is too easy.” And I’ll go over and find out if they’ve truly mastered the lesson, and then I’ll move them along, because there’s no point in staying on something you’ve mastered.
It’s very important that they’re comfortable saying, “This is too hard.” Because it means that they aren’t intimidated by the teacher, and they can ask for help when they get stuck. In this culture, they don’t have to feel afraid that they’ll be teased if they admit that they’re having trouble.
I’ll say, “Okay, what part is hard?” And they’re perfectly free to say, “I’m stuck on this part.” And maybe I’ll say, “Okay, let’s go back a few pages.” But the point is, they’re completely comfortable admitting where they need help, because in this school there’s no shame attached to saying, “It’s too hard for me right now. Can you come over and help?”
How much are you going to learn if you’re stuck but you’re afraid to say to the teacher, “I can’t do it”? It’s the natural thing to say. Why should you pretend to be farther along, when you haven’t built a solid foundation? These kids completely understand that.
They monitor their comfort level, and they’re happy to challenge themselves because they know that they can get help when they need it – not because they have to prove they’re better, but because they’ve learned, over and over, how wonderful it feels to master a challenge.
In every classroom here, the teachers are helping the children understand that the greatest joys come from their own learning, and not from measuring themselves against an artificial standard. It’s why they love the challenge of learning new things, because they enjoy that inner feeling of accomplishment.
We do some very sophisticated language arts learning with our third-graders, and they love it. They love the challenge of learning big words. They’ll say, “Ruth, I was reading a book, and it said the guy was ‘cantankerous.’” I’ll say, “And you knew what it meant!” They’ll say, “And I knew how to spell it!” (laughs)
There’s such pride in their learning. When I compare the years I taught in very good academically oriented schools, I think we have a very rigorous academic program here – it’s very, very rigorous, but it’s done with love, and with confidence. Because it’s done with very high goals, and realistic expectations.
Q: It sounds different from a classroom where the teacher has to hustle the students through a fixed curriculum on an inflexible time schedule.
Ruth: My son was bored in public school. He’s quite smart, and his high school teachers were telling me, “If you want to motivate your son, put him in Advanced Placement classes, because they’ll challenge him.”
I said, “But he won’t really learn anything. It will just be more homework, and what he wants is depth.”
He wanted to explore his school subjects in depth, and it wasn’t happening at his school, because it was all about getting through the material on schedule and studying to the test.
I don’t blame the teachers, because they aren’t allowed the freedom to teach a subject truly, in depth. “We have to get through the chapter. There’s no time for questions. Let’s move on. Let’s not go too deep, because you have to be ready for the test.”
It’s liberating for the teachers and students when you don’t have to teach that way. In social studies recently we were talking about the Central Valley of California. The children were looking at a map, and one of them said, “What’s the San Andreas Fault?” All of a sudden the lesson turned to geology, and we watched YouTube videos on the science of plate tectonics and earthquakes and the San Andreas Fault.
We talked about how we are living only a few miles from the San Andreas Fault, and we went outside and looked for cracks in the sidewalk and tried to decide if they were created by the roots of trees or by earthquakes.
The lesson shifted naturally from social studies to the geology of California’s mountains, and the existence of volcanoes there. The idea that there are volcanoes in California got them very excited, and it became a lesson in the science of vulcanology.
As a teacher, having the freedom to take a lesson where the children’s natural enthusiasm leads them is marvelous. It makes the learning real for the children, where it isn’t only about looking at the pages of a book – “Oh, there are some mountains in California, and here’s a map and some dry facts.”
If you start with the strange and shocking and exciting fact that there are volcanoes in California, it unfolds naturally into the science of how mountain ranges are formed, and how the earth’s crust is shifting, and what it looks like in California, quite near to our school.
I feel very blessed to teach in a school where I have the freedom and the autonomy to teach in a way that engages the children and gives them a genuine learning experience.
Q: A friend of mine teaches honors chemistry at a high school in Illinois. He’s the freshman football coach, and his teams have won 39 games in a row. He’s completely at odds with the idea of a state-mandated curriculum. He wrote an article called “10 Ways to Improve Schools Using Coaching Principles.” He believes teachers need to be free to help the individual child, in the same way that a competent sports coach would do.
Ruth: It’s the only way to bring out the very best in each child. But first, you need to know the child well enough to know what their best is.
In math class we play a game called Multiplication Sundae. As the children master the multiplication table, they earn part of an ice cream sundae. The key point is that the entire class must master the table. It’s fine if you know your sixes and sevens, but if the whole class hasn’t mastered them, they will have to help each other.
Q: Do they tutor each other?
Ruth: Definitely. They work together and help each other. There’s a tremendous amount of partner learning and peer teaching in the classroom. This year’s class learned their multiplication tables perfectly, and at the Multiplication Sundae Party they will have ice cream with all the trimmings, including sprinkles and chocolate chips. It’s really about the learning experience, and the joy of learning together, and not setting yourself apart from others and competing with them in shallow ways.
Which is not to say that we don’t encourage the ones who can learn very quickly. But it’s never a bragging thing, where they’re trying to make the others feel inferior. Never! It’s taking pride in what you’ve done. It’s being able to say, “I’ve studied hard, and I know this.” Because why should they hide it, even if the others are still working on it?
When we practice our multiplication drills, there are now three students who can rattle them off without a fault. They just shoot them off, and we all know who they are, but there is no comparing. There’s a feeling that it’s wonderful for them, and we’re proud of them.
Q: The kindergarten teacher, Mahita, talked about how it’s important to praise the children the right way.
Ruth: Acknowledging them for who they are, and for their accomplishments and their mastery, and not just because they’ve jumped over a stick that you’re holding at some arbitrary height.
There’s a popular idea in education today that you shouldn’t take pride in something you’re good at, because someone else’s feelings might get hurt. But I don’t believe in that idea for a moment! I don’t believe in lowering yourself so that other people won’t feel inferior. I feel that everyone should be proud of their accomplishments, and proud of each other, and proud of their friends.
When one of the children received her role in the school play, she had fewer lines than she had hoped for. Her mom told me that her daughter came home and said, “I’m a little disappointed, but my friend got lots of lines, and I’m so proud of her!”
Can you imagine? There was no envy or resentment. She just thought, “This is what I have, and it’s really good, but my best friend got this, and I’m so happy for her.”
Q: It’s a principle of the world’s spiritual teachings that our happiness grows as we learn to include other people’s realities. I would imagine that it’s a hugely important lesson for young children, for their happiness now and in the future.
Ruth: Yes, and it happens a lot in our class, where the kids will spontaneously go, “Yay! Good for you!”
Q: What about kids who are extremely advanced in math? Are they allowed to flourish at their own pace?
Ruth: Yes. We have math at the same time every day in all of the grades, and the children in my class who need a little more foundation can go into Erica’s second-grade class next door, and the kids who are really advanced can go to Craig’s fourth and fifth-grade class.
There’s no feeling of envy or hurt: “Why do they get to go into fourth grade?” Or “How come that person’s in second?” We understand very clearly that everyone needs to be exactly where they are, because each one is at a different level and can grow there. Our motto in third grade is “Nobody’s good at everything, but everybody’s good at something.” And why should you expect to excel at absolutely everything? It’s only in schools where they must operate under ill-informed government mandates where they expect that.
Q: In the high school where my friend in Illinois teaches, there’s a requirement that every student must take chemistry and physics. And, of course, the result is that those classes get watered-down to accommodate the under-qualified students who don’t want to be there in the first place.
Ruth: Nobody expects that in life. If something’s wrong with my car, I’ll take it to a mechanic, rather than think I should know how to fix it myself. But in public high schools today everyone is expected to take Advanced Placement courses, and they may not be allowed to excel at what they’re really good at, if it happens to be music, painting, or auto repair, because those things are no longer honored in public school.
Here, it’s about everybody being where they need to be. We’re very careful to observe the children and keep the curriculum individualized and fluid, so that each child can go ahead at their own pace and have many success experiences. It’s clearly understood that the kids need to move at a pace where they will be challenged and able to grow and thrive. They might need to move ahead a bit, or back, and it’s constantly adjusted. I have a second-grader who comes into my math class because he’s able to do third-grade math. Last year there were three second-graders who would come in and join us for math.
Q: I saw a little girl who’s in fourth grade sitting at a picnic table during recess reading a book. I asked if I could take her picture, and without turning her head she said impatiently, “Yes!” It was clear that she did not want to be distracted. I was curious to know what she was reading that was so interesting to her, and I peeked at the book, and it was math.
Ruth: (Laughs) That’s very funny, but it’s not uncommon. On Fridays we have math games, and some of the kids will say, “Can we work on Menu Math?” which is a lot harder, just because they love the challenge.
I love teaching here, and it’s partly because we embrace every aspect of the individual child, including the spiritual.
I’ll occasionally bring in my Jewish culture. In our tradition, we have something called a mezuzah. It’s a parchment scroll that’s inscribed with the most important prayer in Judaism, and it can be very ornate, or very simple.
The prayer says, “Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to affix a mezuzah.” Jewish homes will have a mezuzah on their door, and the reason is that when you go in or out you’re reminded of how to live your life as a good person. As you go out, it reminds you that this is how you live as a righteous person. And when you come in, you remember to do the right thing – to have integrity, and to think about what you’re doing, and always try to be in alignment with right action.
I explained that to the children, and they made mezuzahs and wrote poems about how they want to live their lives. When I send them home they’ll roll them up and put them outside their bedroom door.
We also made something called a Chamsa. A Chamsa is a Middle Eastern symbol that’s shared by the Jewish and Islamic cultures. It’s the hand of God that’s offering blessing and protection. We made Chamsas out of heavy copper foil that the children tooled and decorated, and they wrote poetry about the times when they have felt the hand of God.
Q: Is it something you have to nag them to do?
Ruth: Not at all! We talk about what God is, and they write about it in their poetry. What is God to other people? What is God to me? When do they feel that energy? When do they feel that protection? When do they feel that love? Do they feel it when they’re in nature? Do they feel it when they’re with their family? When they’re playing? When they’re laughing? They understand that feeling, and they always know what I’m talking about, because it’s a universal experience, and children live more in their hearts and souls than adults generally do.
Q: Do you have children in your class who are new to the school?
Ruth: We had three new kids who came into our classroom in the middle of the year.
Q: How long did it take them to settle into the school culture?
Ruth: One of them has taken a bit longer. He talks about it in his Qualities speech. “I came in, and I had my methods, and I had to learn Ruth’s methods.” (laughs) We had a new boy and two girls this year.
I told the kids, “Remember the girls who came to visit?” And they were all excited – “Are they going to join our class?” I said, “And remember the boy who came? He’s going to be in our class, too.” “Yay!” So there was complete acceptance.
It’s been a great year. This time of year is always bittersweet, because your connection with the children is so deep, and then they leave. I love every class that I’ve had, and every one is very special.