NOTE: This is a blend of two extended conversations – it’s long, at 10,500+ words, with an estimated reading time of 40-60+ minutes, so a good idea might be to read the first chapter and see if you want to continue right away or at another time.
Chapter 1: A Search for Happiness
Q: Anjali, thank you for taking time from your busy life as a teacher and as a mother of two wonderful young children.
Can you tell us how you became a teacher, and how you discovered Education for Life and the Living Wisdom School of Palo Alto, where you teach first and second grades?
Anjali: I was a very typical product of our current public education system. I think my education reflects not only the school system here in the U.S., but almost everywhere today.
Education will naturally vary somewhat with each culture, but there are certain themes that are congruent, and that’s what I’d like to speak to – how the world generally views education, and how we educate our kids.
I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles where I attended public elementary, middle, and high schools. They were wonderful schools, and I had a great experience.
I wasn’t lazy, but I didn’t have to study all that much in high school. However, I was very ambitious, so I applied to Brigham Young University in Utah because it had the number-one accounting program in the country, and it was a very rare and difficult step to be accepted there, which I was.
I had always loved school and done really well, so I would say that I was successful in all the ways I had been set up to succeed. I got my master’s in accountancy, and I don’t know if my definition of success came from school, from home, or from the culture, but my belief was that if you go to school and you do very well, you’ll be able to get a really good job with good pay and security, and you’ll live happily ever after.
So that’s what I did, and the one big factor in picking my college major was the job that I would be able to get when I graduated.
I never stopped to consider whether I was finding joy in studying. Instead, I was looking at the potential for a great job and career, and what I could do to land a position that would give me freedom and happiness, and the ability to do whatever I wanted.
That was my definition of success, one-hundred percent, and it’s why I picked accountancy at a very prestigious program. First, because I wanted to achieve, and also because I knew it would land me a job anywhere I wanted.
There was lots of security in accountancy, because it’s the language of business and everybody needs accountants all the time. I wouldn’t say that I ever felt a passion for what I was studying, but I did really well and I enjoyed being successful at it, and when it came time to find a job, I naturally went for the big global companies, for the security, the benefits, and the money. But when I look back, it’s interesting to me that although I wanted accounting, I wasn’t satisfied with having a normal accounting job, so I searched for the most interesting branch I could find, which was forensic fraud investigation.
I got a job with a global accounting firm in their fraud investigation and dispute services practice, and it was kind of like the TV series CSI (Crime Scene Investigation), but without the blood. (Laughs) And I thought, okay, this is it.
And, wow, it was an amazing job. I was traveling all over the world in my early twenties, flying first class, living at the W Hotel in Manhattan, and eating at any restaurant I wanted. I was in LA for a time, then Miami, then Brazil, and finally Manhattan for a number of years.
It was incredible, because I was living a career right out of the movies. I was based in San Francisco, but there weren’t any projects there, so they would fly me to the latest job, and I could fly home on the weekend, or I could choose to fly anywhere else that was cheaper.
I could basically fly anywhere I wanted, and I’m sharing this because I was living my dream, and it was what I was set up to do, and I did it, and I excelled and succeeded, and the dream lasted three or four years, and then that was it.
I had spent eighteen years of school, from kindergarten to a master’s degree, to land a job that was supposed to set me up for success for the rest of my life, and then I just kind of stopped, because I realized that I wasn’t happy, and that it wasn’t what I wanted, and that I was spending all the hours of my day not feeling that I was doing something that was contributing in a positive way to the world and to society.
Looking back, I remember that it just didn’t feel like success to me, and that I wanted more meaning and fulfillment, and really, happiness, because I thought I was happy, and that I was living a very happy life, but deep inside, I wasn’t.
Q: I’m making a giant mental leap to Education for Life, and how it brings the whole child to school instead of only the brain. Because if you just go by the brain, you can grow up and feel there’s something missing.
Anjali: Yes, it was a shell of happiness, but it wasn’t filled with happiness.
So, anyway, I decided to leave that world, and it was the beginning of an intensive search for a way to fill the shell.
I was searching for what would really bring me happiness, and at the time I thought that it would have to be about helping people – and it still does, although I’ve grown into a fuller sense of what it means.
Back then, though, I just felt that I wanted to contribute and help, and I wasn’t feeling fulfilled, because I wasn’t doing anything to help people. I was helping people uncover fraud, but I needed something more directly helpful, because it wasn’t enough.
I began to ask myself, “What can I do during the hours of the day that will make me feel that I’m helping people, and not just making rich people richer?”
I was twenty-four when I started my search. It’s a time when many young people question their direction in life, and I set out on a journey of trying lots of things, and feeling that I was beginning to fulfill my purpose, but I was always aware that I still hadn’t quite found it.
I first tried personal training, because I was active and played lots of sports, running in races, and so on. I was passionate about it, and I enjoyed helping people be healthy and attain their goals.
But then I had two babies, and I had to stop. I was twenty-eight and I suddenly found that I could no longer achieve outwardly because I had to put all of my energy into these two little babies. And, as all parents know, even if I could tell you how hard it is, you wouldn’t be able to understand, because being a parent is no joke. It is the hardest thing you can do, if you want to do it well. It’s twenty-four hours a day, and I wanted to do a good job because I cared so much, so I put all my heart, sweat, blood, and tears into being a good mother.
But it also meant that I had to put the other part of myself on hold – the part that loved outward achievement, and that had been ingrained in me so deeply by the values I had absorbed in school.
So I had a bit of an identity crisis. I began to wonder, “If I’m not defined by what I’m doing outwardly and by what I’m accomplishing, how can I define myself?” If you run a marathon, you get instant feedback, but when you’re raising children, the feedback might not be so clear-cut and instantaneous, because being a mother is mostly about giving.
Before my kids were born, my search had led me to Bali, then to Kauai. I was looking for people who were living a full life and being expansive in their hearts. I was searching for something that would be the opposite of living in involuntary servitude to a corporate job, and going to coffee shops wearing AirPods, where nobody’s acknowledging another human being, and it feels like The Walking Dead.
I decided that I needed to find my true people – people who would be connected with each other and focused on something larger, and on finding happiness in ways that were deeper than just getting a good job and making lots of money.
Those feelings set me on a search that lasted about five years, and when I finally found Ananda, I knew in an instant that it was what I had been longing for.
Meanwhile, I had a baby and a toddler, and I was drowning. I hadn’t been out of the house after dark for several years, because when you have kids you have to stay home and put them to bed. And then at one point my father-in-law visited us, and he pushed me out the door, “Just go!”
I had visited the East West Bookstore in Mountain View, California, which is owned by Ananda, and I remember thinking, “Oh, my gosh, I love this place!” I was aware that they had guest speakers, and I thought, “I’d love to go.” But, of course, it never happened, and when my father-in-law pushed me out the door, I thought first of going to an event with friends, but I arrived late, so I looked up East West and saw that there was a class on Kriya Yoga that evening, and that it would be taught by Saiganesh, who’s a very, very inspiring, magnetic, high-energy teacher.
I felt that the fates had conspired to take me there, and for the entire hour I sat with my jaw open, feeling that I had never received so much truth in such a short time.
From that point, I took small steps as I was able. I took a long course in Raja Yoga through Ananda Sangha in Palo Alto, then I took vows of discipleship to Paramhansa Yogananda.
Meanwhile, after my kids started school, I began working for an alternative school, and it was the first time I realized that there was such a thing as an alternative to the public school system, which was all I had known.
I realized that some kids could thrive better in an alternative system than in public school, and as my kids grew a bit older and I was able to spend more time at the school, I realized that I really, really loved working in education.
I was fascinated to discover the very different ways that schools and education can look, and how profoundly the school setting, the student-teacher ratio, and the style of learning can affect how a child can thrive personally, gaining confidence and maturity even as they are able to excel academically. I realized that you can have both – you can have superb academics, even as you’re helping each child develop their personal strengths.
I taught math at the alternative school, and it was based on mastery, like it is in Education for Life – where we are never just skimming the surface in a rush to get good test scores, but we’re making very sure that each kid can go deep and gain mastery, with a deep grasp of the subject.
I had met the director of the Living Wisdom High School in Palo Alto, Kshama Kellogg, and when I told her that I was looking for my next step, she suggested that I talk with Helen Purcell, the director of the TK-8 grades at Living Wisdom School.
I vaguely remember Kshama telling me not to get my hopes up, because there might not be an opening for a teacher, but that I might just go and talk with Helen and see where it might lead.
I was a bit hesitant because of Kshama’s warning, but I thought, “How can it hurt? I’ll go talk with her.”
I didn’t have any thought that I wanted to work at Living Wisdom, but I felt a pull to meet Helen and have a conversation. So I sent her my resume, and I thought we would just spend a little time getting to know each other and chatting about education. Instead, she made me an offer on the spot to come and teach at Living Wisdom – in response to which I surprised myself greatly by saying, “Yes!”
Looking back, I can see how each step in my life had set me up for this moment.
One of the most poignant things is that when I was in second grade I made a firm declaration that I was going to be an elementary school teacher, because I absolutely knew it somehow, and whenever somebody would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was always my only answer.
I was very clear – I would be a second-grade teacher. And I think that with all my will power and determination I could have been many things, but as a child I knew that this was what I wanted. And it’s interesting that I forgot all about it as I made my way through the education system, and as I was pulled into chasing success in the form of going to the best program in the country and getting one of the best jobs.
At the time, I actually wanted to become a trader on Wall Street, because I thought it was the top tier. It doesn’t get any more prestigious, really, and I felt that I would be very happy as a Wall Street trader.
I could have done it easily, because one of the perks of going to a renowned business school is that you make lots of connections, so I could have become a trader if I had put my mind to it.
The thing that stopped me was that I had friends who were a couple years ahead of me and had taken that route, and as I looked at the environment, it was clear that I would have no work-life balance, and it was enough to make me fall back into what I felt was the second most prestigious career.
But all along, an innate wisdom knew my purpose, and what would be most meaningful for me, and it’s amazing that I forgot it so completely, and that I had circled back and found it after flying all over the world in search of happiness.
But I lost touch, and I believe that everything about my path was exactly as it should be. I have no doubts or regrets – no “what-ifs.” It’s wonderful to see how I was lost until I sat in Helen’s office and she offered me a job as a second grade teacher, and how I remembered, “Oh my, this is what I was always meant to be.”
Q: It’s as if your soul decided to be a second grade teacher, and the universe said, well, I’m going to make you a really swell second grade teacher, and here’s how I’m going to go about it. I’m going to send you flying all over so you’ll understand the world, and you’ll know with a sure inner knowing where your true happiness lies.
Anjali: Yes, and my overachieving brain and ego needed to experience it so that I could choose this and know that it was right, and not be thinking, “Oh, but what if I had taken that other path instead?”
In fact, my background makes it super easy for me to relate to the kids’ parents. Being a parent who left a corporate job makes it almost effortless to relate to the parents here in Silicon Valley, and I feel that I’m able to help them and guide them and their children, and that we can be a cohesive team, because I can relate to the whole family, and I know what it’s like to be in their shoes.
At any rate, when Helen offered me a job teaching first and second, I was absolutely dumbfounded. I realized that my childhood dream of being a teacher had suddenly come to fruition. It was very uncharacteristic of me to say yes to such an important decision without giving it long, careful thought, but my heart was bursting in my chest, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made, because it continues to feel like exactly what I was born to do.
Again, it wasn’t a decision that I would have ever dreamed of making straightaway, but when she said those words I felt my heart beating out of my chest, and I immediately said yes.
I’m remembering the powerful heart quality and happiness I felt, and that I never had when I was, quote unquote, “succeeding” in school and in my chosen career. But my heart knew, “This is what I’m looking for.” And of course I was in a spin, because I wasn’t able to put it all together mentally. But now I can. And I think it’s why my heart was thundering, “Yes! This is what you’ve been looking for!”
Chapter 2: Finding Education for Life
Q: Helen kind of radiates everything about Education for Life, and all the wonderful attitudes that go along with it, and that it cultivates in children.
Anjali: Yes, and there was a small precursor to that meeting. I had been taking Education for Life classes and parenting classes, because of my children, and because when I became a mom I woke up thinking, okay, how am I going to take this as seriously as it deserves? I want to be a conscious parent – and how can I do that and provide my kids with the tools to become great and happy human beings?
So I had taken EFL courses from a parenting perspective, and becoming an EFL teacher seemed a natural step, because I had the twin foundations as a parent and a teacher.
I was happy in my previous path, and I’m at peace with it, but my eyes have been opened to a new way of doing things. In EFL, you meet the children where they are, and you see them for who they are, not just academically but emotionally, and on a soul level. That’s where you begin, and EFL empowers you to teach them to love to learn, because they are experiencing joy in the learning.
So it isn’t learning for learning’s sake, or for some far-off imagined future happiness. It’s learning for joy’s sake, and for their sake, in every moment of the school day.
I’m grateful for my upbringing, because I can appreciate what I have, and what I’m able to give to others. In the education system that I was brought up in, I learned that my value was based on my achievements. I don’t know if those feelings came from the testing, the grades, the expectations, or the positive feedback, but that was what I learned, and I did very, very well because I picked up on the system very early.
I got straight A’s, and when I got a B-plus in high school, I was distraught. In high school I was sixth in my class out of 2,400 students in the school. I had an impressive resume, and not just academically, because I was involved in sports, playing soccer and volleyball. I was a cheerleader and I did lots of extracurriculars through service and clubs. I did it all, and I was a college application superstar. I think I could have been accepted at Harvard or Stanford, but I was set on Brigham Young for the prospect of a great job and career.
I carried a set of values that were based on achievement, until it wasn’t satisfying me anymore, and I no longer had the fulfilled feeling from achieving that I was accustomed to. So I was questioning, “Wait – who am I, and what am I, and what’s going on?”
So I took time to process these feelings and find a new way of being, and I feel that my need for a life-changing re-set was a result of the education system.
So that’s a big thing that drew me to Living Wisdom.
You can work in the regular school system and be a brilliant and wonderful teacher, but you’ll be hamstrung by the endless expectations and protocols and schedules imposed from above.
I feel that this new view of education will spread, and that you can apply it in schools that don’t have only EFL teachers exclusively. But in a school such as ours, where there are only EFL teachers, you aren’t hamstrung by the system.
In our school we’re free to do things in the ways we feel are best for each kid. For example, we don’t have grades, and we don’t have rigorous testing. Instead, we have deeply detailed assessments, because they tell so much more about the student than a letter-grade ever could.
When I left my corporate job and became a personal trainer in the health and wellness industry, I built my practice around training people not only to improve their bodies, which is super important and wonderful, but I was helping them achieve their goals, whether they were triathletes, marathoners, or just regular people who wanted to feel better.
I learned that health and fitness are an important piece of the puzzle of bringing the whole child into their education, because there are many pieces of a child’s nature that need to be addressed individually before they can be learning in their own best and happiest way. And being a personal coach helped me understand the importance of getting to know people individually, on their own particular wavelength.
I learned a great deal about making those one-to-one connections that are such a major part of EFL. As a personal coach, the one-on-one connections were tremendously important for my clients, because every person brings unique potentials and needs, and helping each one individually was the most rewarding part of the work, and the part that made me feel most fulfilled. My clients were doing something very important to them, and it was very fulfilling to be able to help them attain their goals.
That was my first step toward helping people, and at first it was all physical, but when I left that career I had a better understanding of what people needed on the mental and emotional levels, and it was very helpful when I discovered EFL, because our morning circle process, which I’ll describe shortly, is all about bringing energy and harmony to the whole child, body, feelings, will, and mind, in preparation for diving into academics.
I feel that the principles of Education for Life, and everything that Living Wisdom stands for, are what I stand for. I feel deeply fulfilled to have found a role where I’m helping young people in so many important, direct, hands-on ways.
How can I say this? If my aspiration is to contribute to society, I feel that helping children is the most influential way I can go about it. And when people refer to me as “going to work” I am utterly baffled, because it’s simply not part of my vocabulary.
I feel joyful every single day at the school, and there is never a Sunday evening when I am dreading, “Oh my gosh, Monday morning is coming.” Not once in nearly six years have I thought that way, and I would never have believed it could be possible unless I had lived it.
Honestly, I feel that the school is the most joyful place on Earth, and I’ve never been happier. I had never imagined that I could be this happy, and it is ever-renewed.
It’s not, “Okay, I’ve learned EFL, and now I’m an EFL teacher at Living Wisdom School, and now I’ve got it down pat.” That’s not what EFL is about, because there is no handbook, for good reason, because the very foundation of being an EFL teacher is learning to be centered and aware of yourself and others at every moment of the day, and helping each kid to be guided in a positive direction, and it can look very different, depending on the child, and depending on the day.
When I’m teaching, I am using my brain, I’m using my heart, and I’m using my classroom management skills. I’m using every part of me to try to do my very best to channel not only academics, which we take very seriously, but to give the kids what they need to grow personally and to love learning, while building their self-confidence and practicing sophisticated skills for navigating the world.
Q: The thought occurs that you aren’t just being a teacher, but that Education for Life requires you to be like a mother who is concerned for all aspects of her children’s welfare and growth. Having raised two wonderful children of your own, I’m guessing that motherhood might have helped you prepare for EFL.
Anjali: Oh, definitely. Before I began teaching here, I was exposed to a group called Conscious Families. They were training parents in principles very similar to EFL, and having my kids involved with those things helped me make a seamless transition to being a teacher.
My kids were in my classes at Living Wisdom for two years, and it was as if a guiding hand had provided the fuel for this amazing rainbow fire that still burns brightly in me.
Q: Witnessing EFL in the classrooms makes me feel that the school is like a separate planet where education is happening the way it should.
Anjali: I agree.
Q: Craig Kellogg, who teaches fourth and fifth, spent a great deal of time talking about how he learned to relate to kids generally, and it seems to be a major skill for teaching in an EFL school, the ability to form connections with the children.
Anjali: It’s true, because the academics come naturally, easily, and organically when you can create a nurturing, connected, loving environment.
At the beginning of the year, I assess them academically, because I need to know where they stand, but then we will spend most of the first month cultivating an environment where they can feel seen and heard and loved, not only by me, but by each other.
If we can create a wonderful atmosphere for learning, I can throw anything at them in academics, knowing that they will flow through the learning process with joy. The secret is that you can have them all working on the same assignment, but all of them will be working at their own level.
Q: What is it about the environment that makes the children want to be engaged with their schoolwork?
Anjali: I have lots of ideas about it, but the most important thing is that the environment is always a unique creation, and it may look quite different depending on the mix of learning styles among the kids, and also because each teacher will have their own style and approach.
Q: When you became a parent, you gave it your full will power and focus. You were a professional parent, a high-level, corporate trainer-level parent.
Anjali: (Laughs) Yes, it’s very true. My kids are amazing, and I believe that Education for Life is the greatest gift I could give them. Not just by learning the philosophy, but being able to send them to a school where they’re surrounded by teachers who love them and care about them and see them for who they are, and for them to be nurtured in a place where they can be guided and pushed toward their own best version.
One thing I’m seeing that they have here, and that I didn’t have, is support for their creativity. In the public school system my creativity was squashed by an old, outdated system of educating children where the government and the administration are wanting to fit you in a box.
My creativity was squashed because there wasn’t space for it, not just abstractly but in the real, living sense of not having time for creating art, which is deeply important and a hugely vital part of learning to find creative solutions for school and all of life.
Art can teach kids amazing skills for tapping into their creativity, whether it’s by painting, performing, or learning to be creative in the way you organize your life, your schedule, and your living space, including how you arrange the objects on your desk.
There’s a flow of creative energy that your soul wants to tap into, and that is extremely important for your academic development and career, and it’s suppressed in a traditional education. It’s an amazing gift that my kids have, that it isn’t suppressed here but actively encouraged. They’re encouraged and guided to tap into the creativity that comes naturally for children, and they’re taught how to manifest it in every part of their lives.
Q: With your first and second graders, do you feel that getting to know each one enables you to help them tap into their own unique kind of creative flow?
Anjali: Yes, especially in first and second, where they’re learning to be in their bodies at a higher level than in kindergarten.
They can now hold a pencil, and they can paint. Their fine motor skills are being refined, and they can have an image in their mind and put it on paper, or they can have a thought and more easily write about it.
It’s one of the pure joys of being a first and second grade teacher: guiding them along the lines of their own nature and watching them discover the creative power in themselves. I see it also in their ability to express themselves through their bodies. It comes out in Phys Ed, and in writing a story, drawing a picture, singing, playing an instrument, or forming something with clay.
Q: The EFL teachers talk about the special role that creativity plays from age six to twelve. Whenever I would ask Craig, who teaches fourth and fifth, a question about academics, he would never answer my question directly. Instead, he would go straight into talking about creativity as a prelude to everything academic.
He would talk about how they use music during their morning circle before math, and all of the things they learn through music, and then he would bring it around to academics. He said that it’s about being able to feel confident in your heart and able to stand up in class and not care if you make a mistake or don’t get it right the first time, because you’re together in a circle of harmony and cooperation and love for what you’re doing, and you’re working hard, and the creative feeling side is freeing and makes it fun.
Craig stresses that creativity in music is putting essential parts together for knowing how to explore, learn, and find solutions in everything. It’s not just about getting the test questions right. It’s about learning the process of problem-solving, which rests on the creative instinct in us, and how we can learn to apply it boldly. He wants them to learn that mistakes are a normal part of succeeding, so you aren’t fearful, because you see them as an expected part of the natural flow.
Anjali: Yes, and so many things start with being able to tap into a creative flow, from conflict resolution, to anything you can think of.
When I was in mainstream schools, I learned to memorize information and regurgitate it for a grade and then forget it. So I didn’t really learn. I got good at memorizing, which is part of learning, but it didn’t penetrate to the deeper levels where we’re continually going with academics at Living Wisdom.
In my classroom it’s not about being good at test-taking or memorizing or performance, it’s about experiencing learning. And with that comes a lot of joy. And then you become what people call “a lifelong learner,” which I feel is an unfortunate term, because it isn’t that you’ll be spending the rest of your life memorizing stuff and taking tests. What actually happens is that when you bring the whole child into learning – body, heart, will, and mind – what you learn is infused into your heart and your consciousness and blended with who you are.
Q: The teachers talk about how you’re connecting with each child and you’re making small adjustments for each child. You’re leading the child, at their level, into their own special successes, at their level, which brings the feelings up in a powerful way. They’re having small successes at their level, instead of being labeled as dumb and having their feelings depressed because they aren’t able to stay up with thirty other kids.
Then, all of a sudden, those tiny feelings from the experience of success build feelings of happiness, and they start associating learning with happiness. So the feelings are coming into it, and that’s one way the feelings get into the learning.
There’s a freshman boy in the Living Wisdom High School who has mastered college calculus, and he’s a very feeling person. He talks about an idea and he gets so excited. So it’s not that kids can only find happiness if they’re taught at a more usual level. It’s kids taking happiness from learning at a very high level, too.
I watched the advanced math tutoring class at the high school, and the kids were very engaged. The teacher was bringing them into it personally, and it didn’t matter if they made mistakes. They were exploring it together and having fun, so it was alive, with smiles and relaxed attention. The learning felt alive and present.
But to return to your kids, you have a very diverse class, with many strong personalities.
Anjali: (Laughs) Yes, and Education for Life allows their inner cuteness to come out, which happens when they’re allowed to be completely themselves.
Q: The most beautiful portraits of people are where they’re being themselves and it’s less about the form and more about the energy. Even the kindergartners here are amazingly mature and confidently centered in being who they are.
Anjali: It’s because that’s who they are, and we aren’t inhibiting or suppressing it for fear that it might get in the way of a math drill. We’re supporting it.
Which is not to say that in EFL we only cater to each child individually. I don’t want to give that picture, because we’re very much a family, and we’re doing lots of things together.
It may look the same in some respects as mainstream education, but the energy is very, very different. We’re aware of where each child is, and we measure them accordingly, but we do things together as a group, because it’s super important and healthy for them to feel part of a larger whole and develop those connections with their peers.
I want to make that point strongly. I think that because we meet kids where they are, people who aren’t versed in EFL might think that we’re letting the kids do whatever they want, and that’s very far from the truth.
I don’t like to say that the kids each have their own curriculum. Actually, they’re given a curriculum, and they’re helped at the point in the curriculum that’s in their sweet spot with its challenges, but not so challenging that they lose their joy.
Q: They’re learning the subjects they’ll need in life – they’re learning the multiplication tables, and not just eating ice cream and watching videos all day.
Anjali: Yes, they’re challenged, and they’re pushed as needed. You don’t penalize them for being at a certain point in the curriculum – absolutely not. But we’re all headed in pretty much the same direction. I don’t know if that makes sense.
Q: It makes sense for a complete outsider who comes into the classroom and sees no chaos at all. It’s very, very orderly and cohesive, more orderly than any elementary or high school class I was part of.
Anjali: It’s very cohesive. We’re on a beautiful multi-dimensional ship together, where everyone has a different role, and maybe we’re on different levels, but we’re a team. We’re a family.
The essence of a family is that there’s unconditional love, and there’s a capacity to want to see each other. It’s not just me seeing the kids, but for the kids to see each other, which isn’t easy to learn, especially when you’re having big feelings and maybe you’re feeling hurt or upset.
That’s what creates an environment where the kids can be themselves and thrive in their learning.
Chapter 3: A Typical Day in 1st and 2nd Grades
Q: What does a typical day look like?
Anjali: Again, we’re talking about the essence of things, and the flow of creativity, and meeting each child where they are, which is the foundation of Education for Life.
Let’s start with the first level of what the day looks like. It will have a unique flavor depending on the teacher and students, but the core principles are the same in all the grades. So I’ll just share what we do, and explain why.
The kids come in, and at the start they just want to see their friends and re-connect with them and with me, and it’s always a joyful experience. When they walk in, they’re beaming and happy to be here. Then there’s some type of activity to get them started and connecting with each other.
Routine is really important for the kids, especially the younger ones, because they feel safe with routines, where they know what’s expected of them, and if the boundary is big enough, that’s where they can flourish. It’s where they can really be themselves and gain the most security and confidence.
So every morning I’ll write the steps for the day. “This is what we’re going to do this morning.” So they can look at the board and know exactly what they’ll be doing together.
They all have jobs. Some will be in charge of opening the door, while others will be calendar helpers, and some are line leaders. We rotate the jobs, so there’s lots of collaboration throughout the morning.
It gives them a feeling of safety and security, and that’s the foundation for the day, where they can feel safe and start to do their own things along with their friends.
Once everybody arrives and they’ve started to connect with each other, we’ll go for a walk. We’ll do some running together, and we’ll play a game of tag. We’re doing vigorous exercises that activate their energy and wake them up and create enthusiasm for being alive, and they absolutely love it.
Everything we do at the start of the day is helping to create the best kind of environment for learning.
We’ll walk, we’ll run, and we’ll laugh. I’ll be guiding their energy, depending on what I notice and what I might be feeling from them. Maybe we’ll go on a short run, then we’ll walk back and be a little more structured, but some days it might be good to go to a different street and skip and let the kids play tag for a few minutes.
I’m giving examples of what we might do on a given day, but it’s impossible to define it as a rigid, unchanging formula.
A description of an EFL classroom can never be about what always has to be done, because you always need to be adjusting what you do, depending on the kids’ energy, and I’m hoping that these examples will help people get a feeling for what EFL is like.
When we come back to the classroom, their energy is wide awake and they’ve renewed their connections with each other, and now we’ll come in and do some things to bring their awakened energy to a calm focus.
We have daily rituals that we may keep doing for years, just because the kids love them. We’ll go the cul de sac in the neighborhood, and we’ll run to the end and back, and although it’s totally simple, they love it.
I might tease them – I’ll say, “On your mark, get set…” and I’ll pause for a bit, and they’ll have to listen for me to say, “Go!”
It’s ridiculously simple, but we laugh every day because it never gets old. It’s something I do every year with the kids, and they love it, and I love it, but I’m always watching to see how we might vary it depending on the kids in the class in a particular year, and what they love and are passionate about.
One year we played tag every morning. We played “Cops and Robbers,” where you tag someone and they “go to prison,’ and then someone can come along and un-tag them so they’re free. That year, it was what brought them the most joy, so, again, it depends on the kids, and it can also depend on the day.
I’m always assessing their energy, and I find that I have to stay centered to do that.
I believe that’s the number-one key for an Education for Life teacher or parent, to be centered and “actively calm” so you can see the other person from the perspective of their own bigger picture, and not get caught up in your own reactions, or too focused on the details.
Our morning walk is a way to awaken energy, to connect with nature, and enjoy the awakening day. If it’s rainy, we’ll do something in the classroom that’s energizing and fun. But I find that there’s a difference between awakening enthusiasm through their bodies in the classroom versus outdoors, and whenever we can we’ll go outside, which they love, and when we’re back in the classroom we’ll do some simple guided meditation, or what I call pre-meditative activities.
At this age, it isn’t easy or necessarily beneficial for them to try to sit and do formal meditation – to be quiet and watch their breathing, for example. But there are fun ways we can work on concentration and focus, so we’ll do some pre-meditative activities that are appropriate for their age.
You can sit still and not be in touch with yourself, and we want them to experience a deepening feeling of focus from the inside out.
It doesn’t help if you’re only sitting there quietly with your eyes closed, but you aren’t able to calm your energy and control where you’re putting your attention. At this young age, we’ll use some simple game-like activities to help them bring their energy to a focus.
We’ll sit in a circle, and I’ll put a big pile of rocks in the middle of the circle, and the only rule is that you can’t talk. You have to be quiet and take some rocks and stack them as high as you can. Once the rocks fall over, the second rule is that you have to put them back in the pile and grab a new handful. So it’s a game, and it’s fun, but they’re developing concentration and focus, and they’re taking the energy we’ve awakened with exercise, and they’re bringing it to their center and focusing it on something.
Or we might have a guided meditation, where they sit and close their eyes, and I’ll walk them through a fun adventure story, and they’re able to go somewhere and realize the power of their mind and their imagination.
At the end of a guided meditation I always tell them, “You can come back to this place anytime you want.”
Maybe the story is about a rainbow, where you walk to the top of the rainbow, or there’s a friend that you want to apologize to, or that you feel you want an apology from, so you walk up the sides of the rainbow and you meet in the middle and you connect and you say, “I’m sorry.” Then you walk down the rainbow, but you can return to the rainbow anytime you want, and anytime you feel that way.
Or maybe you’re floating on a cloud, and you see a big crater, and you drop all your worries in the crater, and it’s so happy to take your worries and anything that troubles you, or that you’re upset about, and you drop them in the crater and it eats them, and they fuel the crater so it can burn them and erupt as a volcano.
Then you float on your cloud and you come back to your seat, and you remember that this is a place you can go to anytime you want, because it’s always there for you.
There are many visualizations we can do. They’re fun, and they give the kids an internalized experience of their own energy.
The last part of our morning circle is that they can share their experience aloud, or listen to each other and take turns giving each other space to speak. If they don’t want to share, that’s fine. We might talk about the rocks, and whatever we choose to talk about, it’s a chance to share their experience and make it part of their awareness.
Then we’ll send energy to people they feel could use a boost of energy. We’ll send happy energy to our whole school, and our whole neighborhood. Sometimes we’ll start small and send happy energy to our city, our state, our country, our continent, the world, and the universe.
We’ll blast good energy and try to come outside ourselves and share the essence of the goodness of who we really are with the rest of the world, from our own little classroom.
They love guided meditations, so I might talk them through a story, and then we might talk about the story.
The stories give their brains something to do. The stories I tell them always express uplifting principles, and maybe it will get them focused on forgiveness, courage, relaxation, or inner calmness, and it’s a fun way to get them thinking about those things.
I might use a singing bowl. I’ll say, “See how long you can listen to the sound as it fades away. Raise your hand, or put your hand on your head when you can’t hear it anymore.”
These things are fun for them, and they develop their ability to be focused and aware.
Once I see that they are focused, we’ll slowly transition into academics. I’ll start with the schedule for the day. “This is what we’re going to be doing today.” It’s letting them know what will happen during the day, and it’s part of creating the orderliness and boundaries they need, to feel secure and thrive and flourish.
So every morning of the school year, that’s what we do, or something very similar, and I feel that how we start our day is an essential component of the magic of Living Wisdom School and Education for Life.
Chapter 4: Academics
Now we come to academics, and first of all we’ll look at the schedule, because, again, it makes them feel safe and confident in what’s coming and what they can expect.
Then we’ll jump into math, and I think it might be helpful at this point in my description to review how they’re feeling as a result of the morning circle activities, and what it does for their energy when we begin doing math. I find very consistently that it’s magical, because their energy is very present, and it’s calm, peaceful, and contented.
Q: I imagine that the worst thing that could happen at the start of math class would be for the kids’ energy to be running all over.
Anjali: Yes, and that’s the magic of the morning circle. They’re no longer feeling the slightest urge to run outside, because they’ve done that, and they’re not only ready to start math and academics, but they’re happy about it.
Q: Their bodies are pleasantly tired and happy from the exercise, and they’re feeling connected and harmonized?
Anjali: Yes, and a big reason why they’re excited about starting to do their math is that we’re giving them math in a way that is deeply appropriate, because math is still very concrete at this age.
It’s kind of like reading, where there will always be different levels, because people’s brains develop at different rates, and parts of the brain may awaken more easily and naturally than other parts.
It’s completely individual, and part of being an EFL teacher, or a teacher anywhere, really, is that you have to begin with the unavoidable fact that the kids are all going to be at different levels. And an enjoyable part of my role as their teacher is that I get to be in my own creative flow as I try to figure out how to keep us together in our goal of learning to read and building a strong foundation with numbers and logic.
I’m always looking for creative ways to help each one do it at their pace and in their own way. With twelve children in my classroom, it quickly becomes clear that there is never just one way we learn math, so I will always be teaching the same concepts in lots of different ways, and finding the methods that work best for each one.
It’s the same with language arts and our all-school annual theater production, where we’re learning these things together, but we’re each learning it in our own way.
The kids will sometimes look over to see how the other kid is doing it, and it’s an opportunity to talk about how we all learn in different ways, and how everyone is exactly where they need to be. It helps reroute the focus from “”Hm, this is where we need to be,” to “Oh, I’m here, and they’re there, and that’s fine.”
Chapter 5: Getting Along
The uniqueness and diversity of the kids is a fact, and it means that it isn’t all “rainbows and butterflies,” even at Living Wisdom School, and we don’t expect it to be, because that isn’t reality.
Where there’s diversity, there are bound to be misunderstandings, and things that the kids will feel to say or do that won’t feel good. But it’s an opportunity to learn to deal with life’s challenges as learning moments, and to learn to deal from them in a way that is kind to yourself, and kind to other people, while honing our skills to see and be open to and deal compassionately with other people’s realities.
We want them to be able to understand other people’s realities from a place of self-confidence. Those are two challenging things, even as adults, especially if you haven’t learned them as a kid. I think our world would be a very different place if we had all learned these things as kids.
What do you do when something is hard? What do you do when somebody is mean? What do you do when your feelings are hurt? How do you handle it? How do you react? How do you tap into who you really are, and face with confidence and courage what’s happening around you? How do you help a kid whose feelings are hurt, or who’s angry because he’s hurt?
When there’s conflict between kids, we bring them together, and the first step is to assess their energy.
In EFL we have the image of a “V.” At the bottom of the V, there’s the least amount of space between the walls – so that would be stuck energy or heavy energy that is not able to move easily.
If there’s a lot of anger, or if a kid just can’t move because their energy is too low, you have to address that first, by working with the stuck energy where it is.
Then the middle part is what we call ego-active consciousness, where, “Okay, I’ll do this if I can get this in return.”
And at the top there’s the most space in the V, and that’s light consciousness, or light energy. And that’s where I’m joyful, I’m helpful, and I’m free, and I do these kind and loving things just because that’s who I am and because it’s so enjoyable and rewarding, and it makes me feel wonderful.
So, if there’s a conflict, I have to assess everyone involved and figure out where they are. If I try to have them relate to each other, and one is too upset and angry, it may do more harm than good to try to get them to listen to each other.
Maybe the angry child needs some space, and maybe he or she needs to go out and run or sprint or throw a ball against a wall, or maybe they need to read a story to get their mind off whatever it is.
Once there’s enough lightness or space that they are able to listen, we’ll bring them together and give each child a turn to speak.
The basic rule is that each one will have their turn, and you can’t interrupt the other person.
Most often, and almost always, their feelings are hurt because of a misunderstanding, and nobody’s actually trying to be mean or hurt them. It was a mistake, or they felt hurt but nobody was trying to hurt them, and it’s just a misunderstanding, and being able to understand someone else’s reality gives you the power to see things as they really are, and then you can make choices.
So everybody gets a chance to share and feel safe saying whatever they want to say. “This happened. They did this.”
I’ll ask them, “How did that make you feel?” so they can tie the actions to the feelings and own their feelings about what’s happening inside them.
We’ll do that as long as needed, then I’ll repeat what they said so they can feel heard.
Then if the other kid can do the same, that’s better, but sometimes with little kids, it’s hard. So I’ll summarize, and they’ll hear it, and I’m facilitating their ability to really understand what somebody’s saying.
Once they can see the other side and express themselves, they’re ready to make a decision, and I would say that almost every time they will say, “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Q: It must be a relief for them to be able to get free.
Anjali: I think so. That’s what it is. It’s freedom. I feel seen, and I see you. And, oh, okay, it’s okay.
Sometimes they’ll need more time, and I never want to force or pressure a child to say they’re sorry or make an apology, because that isn’t helpful to anybody. Sometimes kids want to write it, because it’s easier and more meaningful to them, and sometimes we’ll revisit it the next day.
I find that if I follow these steps, and stay intuitive to the needs of the children, a creative process comes in and they’ll know what they can do to deal with it for themselves and for other people, and things will just, I want to say, magically work out.
That sounds woo-woo, but it really isn’t magic. It’s the essence of a human being, and of our human needs and our soul nature.
Chapter 6: Subtle Transitions in the Early Years
Q: When they leave your class. They’ll enter Ruth’s third-grade class, and it doesn’t seem that it will be such a major shift as, for example, going from third to fourth, or from fifth to middle school.
Anjali: Oh, that’s an interesting question. It’s true that first, second, and third feel, in some way, like parts of a whole. If we forget about grades and teachers, and think about the ages, I think that’s maybe what you’re sensing.
Q: We think of the Feeling Years from six to twelve, and that’s all of lower school from first to eighth grade, but there seem to be gradations and transitions.
Anjali: Definitely. I think it comes down to the natural development of the brain and body, where there are lots of big shifts that happen during those years, with an especially big shift that happens in the pre-pubescence years, which is usually around age nine to ten.
A lot depends on the individual child, of course, but generally speaking, their brains are starting to think on a different level when they’re nine and ten, and they’re looking more deeply at the world around and figuring out who they are, and usually wanting to explore their independence in a way that they haven’t, so far.
Again, every child is different, but there’s typically a big shift from third to fourth grade, and I think it’s also why there’s a bigger shift in what the classroom and the teacher look like.
Q: Craig Kellogg, who teaches fourth and fifth, talks about that shift, and how he’s preparing them for middle school and high school. He feels that the kids are getting ready for the lessons they’ll be wanting to focus on in adolescence, and how he’s bringing them a little bit forward toward the Will Power phase.
Anjali: Yes, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’m a more feeling person. I teach the feeling years, and Craig teaches the pre-will power years, and it’s fascinating to see how it’s all beautifully orchestrated in our school, and how the children in each age group tend to have teachers who are uniquely capable of fostering where they are, developmentally and energetically.
The foundation and the essence are the same. We all do morning circle, for example, and we all start the day with math. But with Craig’s class and mine, it looks different.
We’re emphasizing different things, and we’re doing things differently in our classrooms. But the essence is the same, because we’re addressing the kids where they are, and we’re following the same morning circle flow of awakening energy, bringing it into themselves, and focusing it on something bigger than themselves, so we’re able to make learning personal and fun.
Chapter 7: One Child, Many Teachers
Q: I’ve sat in on some of the teachers’ meetings here, and they’re lively meetings.
Anjali: They’re such fun. There’s lots of laughter. I think they might be too happy sometimes. (Laughs)
Q: You’re sharing notes and comparing and rejoicing. And it’s also that in your classroom you’re kind of on your own ship, right? But then you meet up with the other ship captains at an island.
Anjali: Yes, and it’s so fun because you can compare. We all know all of the students well, whether they’re in our class or another, and we can talk about the things that are going on with each of them and share our insights, and there’s a wonderful feeling of doing great things together.
It’s very joyful. We all have big personalities, so it’s a good time. We all care so deeply about the children, and we’re all happy that it’s our dharma to be where we are.
Chapter 8: The Secret of Relating to Young Children
Q: Can you say more about the qualities of the stage of development of the kids in your class, and how you’re able to connect with them.
Anjali: Kids at this age are living with their hearts wide open, and if you can honor that, and learn to adapt your teaching to it, it makes the academics, and everything else really easy, including having a harmonious environment and enjoyable social connections.
I think many adults believe that in order to connect with kids at this age, or any age really, they need to do certain things in a certain way, or they must present themselves in a certain way, or they should start talking with the kids and ask them questions and engage them in conversation. And maybe that’s somewhat true, sometimes, but most of the time it isn’t true at all. These little kids can feel your ability to be present with them, and if you can do it sincerely and completely, they will connect very naturally with you.
Making a good connection with the kids might not need to be as outward as most adults would imagine, where they’re used to connecting intellectually with their peers, or dancing around mentally, throwing out ideas and trying to figure out how they can connect.
Most adults don’t understand the power of simply being present with the children without needing to engage in an outward way. I think the number-one thing is just being there and observing what the kids are doing, and trying to see the world through their eyes.
Another point is that we can co-create genuine magic with the kids by adjusting how we approach learning. For example, I find that I always have to figure out how to approach math in lots of different ways, because the kids have so many natural ways of learning.
It isn’t only that one kid will need to work with things kinesthetically, with the body, or auditorily by talking and listening, or visually with the right images. It’s also that they put things together in their brains differently. They may be very analytical and logical, but there can be lots of other ways of relating to academics.
I’ll often find that they can think abstractly, and it’s something we try to help them all learn to do at this age, but there will also often need to be lots of hands-on practice.
It’s not as if we’re just sitting down and doing math problems every day. Of course, there needs to be lots of repetition, because they’re building the math foundations for the rest of their lives and their logical awareness trajectory.
But it’s also very important to remember that at this age they may still need to learn with the help of their bodies, because they’ve just come out of the Body Years from birth to age six, and they’ve just entered the Feeling Years from six to twelve. So there will still need to be a great deal of hands-on math learning, with lots of math games, because at this age we can teach them math concepts more deeply that way than if we would just sit them down and have them do lots of problems over and over.
With all of their academic subjects, including math, I am constantly trying to find ways to make it alive for each child. Even if it’s grammar, where they’re learning to capitalize the first word of a sentence, and to add the right punctuation, and to understand what a complete sentence is, there is still lots of simple physical activity – for example, practicing their letter formation.
There are lots of things they need to learn at this age that are bound to be a bit tedious, but they have to learn them before they can move on and flourish – handwriting, for example, and good communication – and I am always looking for fun ways to help them learn those things well.
We might take some chalk and go outside and practice our letters or our numbers on little whiteboards, because it’s fun.
We have to learn these things and practice them over and over, and maybe we’ll take turns, where a kid will come up and sit with me, and we’ll talk together in front of the class and correct his work, so that he becomes a kind of teacher. It’s fun to come and sit at the front of the class and be the co-teacher, and we’ll rotate until everyone has had a chance.
We try to avoid dry memorization, and we try to be as creative as possible in how we teach the things they need to learn as the foundation for everything that follows.
For example, there was a time when they became interested in Minecraft, the world-creating sandbox game, and we decided to create Minecraft self-portraits.
It’s an example of the fusion of academics with their artistic side. It’s also an illustration of how EFL teachers need to be intuitive about knowing what the kids need, what their interests are, and how we can merge them. It creates joy, because it’s engaging for them, and it gives them fresh pathways to be successful in academics.
I would just like to say that every kid, and every age group is special. But I find that the unique way the first and second graders are special is that, as I touched on earlier, they are leaving the body years when their whole world revolves around “me,” because as babies they need to learn to navigate the world in a physical way for their survival – they need to learn to walk, to feed themselves, to go to the bathroom. And now they have enough freedom to start looking around and learning about the world and other people.
At the same time, their hearts are wide open at this age, as they enter the Feeling Years from six to twelve.
It’s a time when, even in the wonderful, safe, joyful, welcoming environment of EFL, there will be things that will challenge them, and as they grow older we will need to help them start putting up some guards to help them cope with life in general. But at this age, there are still no guards, and they are extremely open.
They are still very much like little bundles of light and joy, and if you’re open to it, and if you can be present with them, you will receive that wonderful spirit, and you’ll find ways to guide them, each in their own way.
It’s a very special age, and I feel honored to be in their company every day.
By the time they get to Craig in fourth and fifth, it’s, “Okay, now let’s see how we can apply our feelings to tell us how we can use our will power to accomplish all of the wonderful things we aspire to do.”
I’ve spoken with many parents who have sent their kids to us, and they’ve told me that they love the tremendous takeaways for their kids at each stage, with each teacher, because the teachers are so beautifully aligned to guide them through each stage as they grow and become more deeply mature.
Q: In EFL, there’s an idea that each of the six-year stages of a child’s development is preparing them for the next one. For example, we need to learn to work with our feelings, and to know the difference between raw reactive emotions and refined, elevated, expansive feelings, before we can use our will power with consideration for other people’s realities, and with a goal of finding happiness and success not only for ourselves but for others.
If you’ve learned to be in touch with your feelings, you have a more refined ability to choose how you’ll channel your will, because your feelings aren’t getting in the way of your will, or taking it in directions it might not be helpful to go.
Anjali: I see this in public school, where there isn’t space for the kids to learn about feelings, or where they can feel safe expressing them and working with them. In many schools, they might be laughed at, mocked, or bullied if they let their feelings show, so their feelings get stifled, and they never learn those skills.
I think it’s a big reason why the world is the way it is today, with all these people walking around looking and acting like adults, but really there’s a large part of them that’s stuck in being a child, and they aren’t able to use their feelings wisely, in an elevated way.
Q: Here in the U.S. you see lots of adults becoming active in the arts because they feel a need to get in touch with their feelings – by singing in a community choir, or joining an artistic community, where they can dance or act or play in a band or orchestra, or paint and sculpt. Their souls seem to be calling them to complete an unfinished part of themselves.
Anjali: Yes, and in EFL we are doing all we possibly can to create happy school environments where we can help them develop that side so that they won’t have to try to do it later, when it will be much harder, and it may be too late.